First disclaimer before I get down to the nitty gritty, this isn’t the most positive post in the world but I felt it is important to share the reality of what led to my weight gain.
Moving on from my previous ‘transformation’ post, I wanted to talk to you about the vicious circle I got myself into…one I’m sure we can all relate to one way or another!
I had been living life to its full travelling and working around Australia and ended up travelling up the east coast…this is where the damage was done! I ate pasta, drank cider and snacked on Tim Tams (probably the tastiest chocolate of all time…good thing it isn’t available in the U.K) half way up the east coast I could feel myself getting more self conscious. We wore bikinis a lot of the time and I hated and dreaded every time we went swimming, I would try to subtly tip-toe down into the water trying not to wobble the cellulite until the water swallowed me up so no one could see my body, just a bobbing pale freckly face in the water. (great look Leigh) of course in hind sight no one else gave a sh*t what I looked like cause majority of the people didn’t know me!!
This happened a lot, of course pictures were taken and as soon as I got back to the hostel I immediately deleted any photos where I had a big arm, double chin or a tummy roll and made sure I did the same to my friends photos!! I was exploring an amazing, once in a life time location with scenery you wouldn’t believe and I deleted photos because of the way I looked…I know, how vain!! Even now I look through my albums and there is hardly one of me… one of my biggest regrets!
Once I had finished my travels up the east coast I worked as a nanny in the outback (the arse hole of no where) I was looking after 4 kids under the age of 5 so my first thought … I’m bound to lose weight running after these guys…. NOPE!!! Turns out kids are hard, so hard I turned to eating! Not just that, like I said in the middle of nowhere, closest ‘city’ was a 2 hour drive and the pub was half an hour away ( what was I thinking ) I missed home a lot at this stage so food was where I turned! The vicious circle was VICIOUS!!
I found a local gym in the town I was living in and decided to go to it once the kids were in bed. I went not really knowing what to do, I sweated (probably more to do with the heat) came home and treated myself to some ice cream. It was honestly such a low part of my life and I am certain that the stress and anxiety didn’t help either! That process went on until I came home 3 months later.
When I got home I was relieved and my body could tell I was more relaxed. Once I started my workouts and changed my mindset the weight began to slowly come away!
I will never forget that feeling of being self conscious and being uncomfortable in my own body and I am actually glad I have been through it because I will never let myself feel like that again!
I know there are other people who can maybe relate to the way I felt. My advice to them is that you are not alone but at the end of the day you are the only person who can make the necessary changes to make you feel ‘you’ again. Trust me, it’s worth it!
Until the next post